On another subject Dr. Ramon Santos asked me to compose music for our 20th century music analysis finals in a form of a program/recital. Still, I haven't got the smallest ounce of confidence to be inserted into the repertoire of 20th century masters such as Schoenberg and Xenakis. And me? I know what you're thinking; of course not, idiot! So I thought to resolve that by suggesting a proposition to Dr. Santos to compose music in a form of an invocation, a prayer to transpire at the beginning of the program. Now, that brings us back to my first sentence.
You see, I'm not an atheist. I am a believer. Last night I even prayed to Him for money, well, I do that all the time. But the reason for my absence in the large, Gothic building of supposedly sacred activities is my unavoidable feeling of resentment toward the passive people that flocks that place. I know for a fact that a handful of them is actually there in all sincerity to pray and reconcile their relationship with Him. But most people, myself included, are there out of repeated tradition rather than personal submission. Honestly, would you go to church if your Nanays didn't pull you out of bed, insert your polo shirt and drag you to the nearest church only to be sitting there thinking about which mall you're going to go or what are you going to buy after? And the same thing happens the next week, and the week after that, and the week after that until you grow up to be doing the same thing to your children. Repetition destroys essence. Say that bibinkga is your favorite food in the world, and you're given the chance to eat it every day for the rest of your life, don't bullshit me by saying you won't get sick of it.
But then. doing the right thing in accordance with God's will in the littlest of things, and going to church every Sunday are two very different things. In the same way that praying to God for money is more sincere than bluntly reciting The Lord's Prayer.
Anyway, point being said, that's what I wan't to convey in my next piece. So help me God.
By the way, why is today peculiarly glowing with Star Cinemaesque mood? Right. Happy Valentines day. Ewe.