I found myself in an impossibly high tower/fortress looking down to what seemed like the endless pineapple fields stretching from Camp Phillips to Mt. Kitanglad. A view that is ever so embedded in my childhood. Looking down from sky-high, I saw an atomic explosion in the middle of the field. Then in an irrational dream like succession I suddenly found myself running through the pineapple fields as if being chased. Panting, pedaling legs with great difficulty, dodging my way through the narrow paths around which the sharp, spiked leaves of the fruit hung dangerously.
I was running relentlessly, away from something, away from nothing. Literally, nothing.
When it became apparent that nothing was actually chasing me, I did not however slow down. Nor did I believe that I was running for no reason. I stopped. Not because of the realization of the truth but because I've reached a dead end. I turned around. Fearless. I faced the nonexistent enemy, and as it started to attack I fought it with all my might. I wrestled fiercely with the air, trying to stop it from strangling me to death, this nothingness will not be the end of me. I will not allow it. Not even in my wake.
Dream Two ( a different "night")
I found myself yet again trying to outrun something. This time in the wide and spacious plaza of Camp Phillips where in my childhood days I would run innocent and blissful. But in this dream my running was not of amusement but of fear. I was being chased by invisible Indians, dodging their imaginary arrows. Avoiding a straight line, I ran in zigzag so as not to take a direct hit from the swift spears. Once at the edge of the plaza, I ran into a dark forest, where then I was swinging low by the roots of the trees like Tarzan. Then that scene eventually faded away in surreal fluidity unresolved.
Conclusion
I am no psychic. And little knowledge do I have of Freud's theory of dreams. But if I were, for the sake of my own comfort, to impose my own theory on the two lucid dreams I had, I would refer to my actual fears of reality. Number one being social anxiety, at least that's my guess. The uncontrollable fear of being thrown face to face with my superiors, is the only wall that holds me back from making connections. The only wall holding me back from my dream.
It took two lucid dreams to make me realize that like the invisible Indians, like the imaginary arrows, the atomic explosion, the nonexistent nemesis, my social anxiety is nonexistent as well.
I fear things that does not even exist.